I get so embarrassed so easily. Oh yeah, it’s called low self-esteem. That’s me, yes. Even though I am telling myself now, that I am worthy. Maybe one day I will believe it.
The thing is, this embarrassment stops me from doing the things I want to do. Because I always anticipate criticism, even from heaven knows where. I imagine the different things people would have to say on any of my words or actions. So, I stay quiet at home (and online) and don’t do much. Pretty boring, huh!
Well, I got fed up with my story repeating itself over and over again, and when 2014 started, I vowed (and wowed!) to myself that I would risk being laughed at or having anger thrown at me. I told myself I’d be willing for my mistakes to be seen and heard – cause I sing as you may have noticed, and sometimes say something.
I can tell you, this intention in itself was a relief. Nevertheless I knew I would have to put up with a lot of embarrassment, but hey, what’s new!
My plan was, to totally focus on my body when these famous shame feelings would come. Knowing that they would pass like everything else passes, maybe in a few minutes or hours (or days – god forbid). I thought I could manage that.
Now that the year was over, what had I to say?
Willing to make a fool of myself? Well, I went through a lot of embarrassment interacting with people. But let me tell you, this is good. Because unexpectedly I got to talk to new and wonderful, exciting people who showed me a lot of love and care. And I kept singing until I got all the songs right after a hundred failures (well, not quite as many).
Lots of love to you, and Here’s to all the fools in the world!
Let me know what you think. I’d love to hear from you!